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Cookies and Contempt: A Bad Week

Ruined Cookie Dough

Between a huge ruined batch of chocolate chip cookie dough, a chronically late employee, and no air conditioning, we simply couldn’t catch a break last week.

Things I already knew:

  1. There is a HUGE difference between Baking Soda and Baking Powder.
  2. It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.
  3. Most teenagers could sleep until noon if you let them.

Things I learned:

  1. Some CookieText-ing mistakes have a domino effect…
  2. Even dripping buckets of perspiration, I still love my job.
  3. Have the home phone number or the number of a relative, because teens usually mute their phones.

Between tossing pounds and pounds of unusable dough, fighting frosting that was getting softer from the heat by the minute, and sitting on hold with the A/C people for hours on end, I was happy to just put the week behind us.

Cookie soup
A do-over…the first one melted…

And so goes real life. Sometimes there are crappy days, sometimes there are crappy weeks. But I think just like relationships with people, you need to have a job that is more good than bad.

John Gottman, the marriage expert, talks about contempt in a marriage. Contempt is fueled by long-term negative thoughts about your relationship. Being disrespectful, sarcastic, or using hostile-humor are forms of contempt.  Gottman says contempt is the biggest predictor of divorce and that people in contemptuous marriages are more likely to suffer infectious sicknesses, like a cold or the flu.

I think his theories on contempt in a marriage apply just as well as someone’s relationship with their employment.

Ask yourself:

Do you spend more time thinking negative or positive thoughts about your job?

Are you in a bad mood throughout your workday?

Do you roll your eyes when you get yet another email from your boss/co-worker/corporate?

Do you talk badly about your employer, fellow employees or place of employment?

Are there more bad days than good days?


Are you in a workplace where, sure there is stress, but most the time things are good?

You generally enjoy your job, the people you work with, and when there is a bad day, you know it will pass?

Is there more good than bad?  There should be.

For me, even with a really crappy week, I knew I genuinely loved my job and that it was worth suffering through the annoyances. There is always more good than bad. I feel good about what I do. I have an underlying peace and satisfaction throughout my workday. I feel productive and generally happy while I work.

Are you in a conflict with your job? Life is too short to spend 40 hours a week in contempt. And that stuff seeps out into other parts of your life…a lot.

Maybe you need a change. Why not now? And if not now, when? And if you do have a million and one reasons why you have to keep the job you hate, can you change your attitude or approach, one thing at a time?

For me, a crappy week in the Cookie kitchen is still better than a good week doing anything else. I’m very lucky and blessed to have a job I love. So much so that I want the very same for you. Here’s hoping that you go to a job you love each day. And if you don’t do that now, hopefully you will very soon.